


Larger Than Life

by phantisma



Category: Leverage
Genre: Cancer, Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:47:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantisma/pseuds/phantisma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliot is hiding a deadly secret and when Nate figures out what it is, nothing will ever be the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Larger Than Life

Nate heard the crunch before Sophie grabbed his arm, her fear translating through her fingers. He pushed her back into the van,yelling at Hardison to get out of there before trying to figure out how to help.

Eliot was staggering, his left arm dangling, but he was grinning at the thug who was coming at him, the baseball bat swinging in his hands. The other two were getting up from where Eliot had dropped them, so Nate decided that he’d start there.

He jumped in, grabbing the shorter of the two, shoving him into the brick wall.

Eliot growled and Nate glanced up to see him stumble back, though the bat was in his hands now. Nate turned his attention to the other guy who was coming at him now. He landed one solid punch to his nose, ducking past him to grab Eliot by the collar, dragging him back and away.

He fought until he realized it was Nate, finding his feet as they cleared the building just as a bus was pulling up at the corner stop. Nate pushed him onto the bus and into a seat, flashing his fake badge at the driver and telling him to go.

Nate collapsed into the seat next to Eliot. “How bad?”

Eliot shook his head, holding his left arm tight to his body. “I’ve had worse.”

Nate leaned back to look out the window. The three thugs were on the sidewalk, watching the bus drive away. It was only a temporary fix. They needed to clean up the loose ends and get out of town.

He turned back to look at Eliot. His eyes were closed, his face pale under the blood from the gash over his forehead and his nose. “I need to know if this is something you need an ER for, or--”

Eliot’s eyes opened abruptly and his hand grabbed Nate’s knee. “No hospitals.”

Nate sighed. He could understand that well enough, but Eliot didn’t look good. In fact, if he thought about it, it had been a while since Eliot had looked good. The paleness wasn’t new and he showed up with unexplained bruises, disappeared more often than usual.

“You’re in pain.” Nate said, like that would change Eliot’s mind.

“Ain’t the first time.” Eliot said, going back to closing his eyes, leaning his head back against the bus window.

“Is it dislocated?” Nate asked, uncertain why he was pressing. Eliot always took care of himself.

“Probably, wrist’s broken. I’ll get Parker to help me set it when we get to the hotel.”

He wanted to argue that broken bones needed to be X-rayed, but he knew better. If he pushed any harder, Eliot would just get angry.

“Thanks.” Eliot said as the bus slowed down to pick up new passengers. He stood and stepped off the bus. Nate followed. They walked a few blocks before Eliot pointed to a drug store. Wordlessly, they went in and gathered up the supplies he would need, avoiding the stares of the people who clearly could see what Nate knew. Eliot wasn’t well.

 

 

Eliot wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and flushed the toilet. It was getting worse. He rinsed his mouth out and opened the bathroom door, finding Nate standing on the other side.

“Everything okay?”

Eliot nodded. “Yeah. Just...Hardison’s stupid experiments.” He didn’t quite look Nate in the eye as he moved past him to join the team around the video boards.

He could feel Nate’s eyes on him as Hardison presented the latest case and Eliot was relieved when Nate took over the narration. It seemed like the kind of case where he would be able to take it easy. The mark was a man who didn’t seem to tend toward violence.

And this one was local, so he wouldn’t have to worry about the travel taxing him before he even got started. All in all, a job that should let him get some rest. He frowned though as Nate explained the jobs each of them would do, and said nothing about him.

“What about me?” Eliot asked, his eyes pinning Nate to his spot.

“I, ah, I thought I’d let you sit this one out.” Nate said.

Eliot frowned harder. “Sit this one out?”

The others moved away as Nate came around the desk. “You look like you could use a break.”

“Don’t you think I should be the one to decide when I need a break?”

Nate nodded slowly. “Normally, yes. But clearly you haven’t.”

“I’m fine.”

Nate shook his head. “No. You’re not. And I don’t know what’s going on or why you’re off your game, but the last three jobs you’ve gotten hurt or nearly killed doing things that you’ve done a hundred times with your eyes closed. I think that says you need a break.”

“So you’re sidelining me because of a few scrapes?”

“A dislocated shoulder and broken wrist. A concussion. And this last time, the mark made you and would have killed you if Sophie hadn’t jumped in. We had to re-set the entire con.”

He wasn’t wrong, and Eliot wasn’t sure why he was arguing. “Fine. I guess I’ll go home then.”

“Get some rest.” Nate said, his voice softening a little.

“You know how to reach me.”

He stalked away, through the restaurant and out the front door. He didn’t really want to go home to stare at his walls and wish there was something he could do to fix it. He got into his truck, his eyes dragging over the restaurant that was only the latest incarnation of Leverage, Inc. It was home, as much as anywhere.

And it had nothing to do with the building.

He sighed and put the truck in drive, figuring if he was getting the day off, the least he could do was work on putting his affairs in order. There was a lot to do.

 

 

Eliot was never late. Except lately. He called that morning to say he was going to miss the client meeting. A meeting he had set up. That he had insisted on.

Nate was starting to be more than a little worried.

He stood outside the door to the flat, vacillating between knocking and just slinking away and letting the silence fill up the spaces that had grown between them since the whole incident with the broken wrist.

He shifted his grip on the six pack and tucked it under his arm, freeing up his hand to knock. For a long time he thought maybe Eliot was crashing in one of his other places in town, or maybe wasn’t home. Then he heard a muffled voice and shuffling footsteps. Eliot’s voice was gruff.

“Who is it?”

“Nate. I brought beer.”

The door opened slowly and Eliot glowered at him as Nate came in. He wore sweatpants and a hoodie that both looked two sizes too big for him. “I told you I had stuff to deal with.”

“That was before.” Nate said, pulling out a beer and handing it to him. “Thought you’d want to know how the meeting went.”

“As long as you’ve agreed to take her case, I’m not sure it matters.” Eliot countered, twisting off the cap and taking a long swallow before he made a face and nearly spit the beer out.

Nate put the six pack down and crossed his arms and just waited.

“Forgot, I just brushed my teeth.” Eliot said in way of excuse.

“Why, to get rid of the taste of bile?”

Eliot shook his head and went toward the kitchen, depositing the bottle on the counter. “Just let it go, Nate. I’m fine.”

Eliot wasn’t fine, and they both knew it.

“You can’t con a con.” Nate said quietly, anger bubbling up inside him.

“Nate, seriously, man, let it go.” Eliot turned to lean against the counter, his eyes on his feet.

Nate took a few steps closer. “No.”

Eliot’s head came up and he frowned. “Did you say no?”

Nate nodded. “I’ve been patient. I’ve waited. I hear you in the bathroom throwing up. I see the weight you’ve lost and even you can’t deny that physically you are way off your game. It’s been months now.”

Eliot licked his lips and looked away. “I’m fine. I just….need some time.”

“At the rate you’re going, Eliot, time is the one thing you don’t seem to have.”

The room was quiet for a minute, then Eliot sighed. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay. Tell me that you at least know what it is? That you’re getting treatment?”

Eliot made a face that was not reassuring and sighed heavily. “I have a pretty good idea what it is. And you know I don’t do doctors.”

Which was kind of what Nate had expected. “Are you going to tell me what you think it is?”

Eliot shook his head. “No. I’m not.”

“Can you promise me that this isn’t going to get in the way of the job again? I need you on this one. I need you to watch Sophie’s back.”

“I’ll be there. Just need a day or two. I’ll be fine.”

Nate knew better. And yet, he turned for the door. “I hope so.”

 

 

The job went off without a hitch and Eliot even looked better when he swooped in to get Sophie out of the way once her job was done. Nate climbed into the back of the van and pulled the door shut. “Parker, you clear?”

“Yep. I’m out.”

“Hardison, take us home.”

The van started and Eliot lost his balance, falling into Nate.

Nate’s arms instinctively circled his waist, absorbing his momentum and pushing him back upright. He was wearing layers of clothes, but under it, the normally muscular body was thin. Eliot pulled away with a grunt. “Damnit, Hardison!”

“Eliot--” Nate started, but Eliot glared at him. He held up both hands and shook his head. “Fine.”

Except, even in the gloom of the van, Nate could see it wasn’t fine. Eliot was sweating now, his eyes half closed. His hands circled his stomach and he lurched for the door as Hardison stopped at a traffic light.

Nate followed Eliot, who got two steps from the van and doubled over, retching violently and sinking to his knees. Nate settled one hand on his back as his body shook and he spit out a combination of food and bile...all laced with what looked like blood.

He tried to get up when he was done, but staggered into Nate. They both went down, Nate twisting to absorb the worst of the blow, landing on his back mostly on the sidewalk with Eliot on top of him.

“Eliot?” Parker was beside them, her face white. “He’s out cold.”

Nate nodded. “He must have hit his head or something back there. Help me get him back into the van.” He worked himself out from under Eliot, worried about how light, how frail the man was.

Together, Parker and Nate lifted Eliot’s unconscious form and settled him on the floor of the van. Nate climbed in and quietly told Hardison to take them to the hospital.

“He’s not going to like that.” Parker said from her place beside Eliot. Her hand pressed to his face. “But you’re not wrong.”

“Right now, I don’t give a shit what he likes.” Nate said. The van was silent as Hardison drove, until he pulled up to the ER. Eliot still showed no signs of coming around. “Parker, go in and get someone with a gurney.”

She was out of the van and in through the double doors and back in seconds, trailing two orderlies with a gurney. Nate stepped out and let them maneuver Eliot onto the gurney, then nodded to his team. “Go home, do the clean up. I’ll stay with him.”

“He’s going to be pissed when he wakes up.” Parker said, though her eyes showed her concern.

“I know. I’ll deal with it. Go on.”

It looked like Parker was on the verge of asking something, but she nodded and climbed into the van and closed the doors. Nate followed the orderlies inside, determined he was going to get answers, whether Eliot liked it or not.

 

 

He could feel the drugs in his system before he was fully awake. The pain wasn’t gone, but it was pushed back far enough that he knew they had to be pretty strong drugs. He’d passed out. And he was fairly sure Nate had used the opportunity to drag his ass to the hospital.

“...selfish, arrogant son of a bitch.”

Eliot opened one eye, to find Nate pacing and talking...though Eliot wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or to Eliot.

“For fuck’s sake, we’re a team. You don’t have to do this shit by yourself. Fucking arrogant prick. If you could have just bit the fucking bullet and gotten treatment--” Nate turned suddenly, his eyes narrowing as they found Eliot looking at him. “Good. You’re awake.”

“I could close my eyes and pretend if you’re not done ranting to yourself.” Eliot said dryly, shifting in the bed, trying to sit a little more upright, but abandoning the effort after a moment. His body ached like he’d taken a pummeling. There was an IV in his arm. He started to reach for it, but Nate grabbed his hand. “No.”

Eliot’s eyebrow quirked up. “No?”

“You heard me. I got you here, and they got you stabilized, but you’re going to stay put until you hear what the doctor has to say.”

Eliot let his hand fall away. “I already know what he’s going to say Nate. There’s no point.”

“No point. No point?” Nate stalked away and came back suddenly and fiercely. “How dare you. How dare you say that?” His face was a snarl that startled Eliot a little. “After everything, after the last five years. You’re not on your own anymore Eliot. You have a team that relies on you. That cares for you.”

Eliot looked away, his face hard. He knew all of that. He just couldn’t let himself dwell on it. “You know how I feel about doctors.”

“Tough.” Nate spit the word at him. “Tough shit. You’re not immortal, Eliot. You can’t keep ignoring this.”

Eliot’s hand stole to the bulge on the left side of his stomach that betrayed the tumor growing there. He was well aware of his mortality...and he wasn’t ignoring anything.

“Ah, Mr. Spencer. I’m glad to see you’ve rejoined us.”

Eliot glowered at the doctor, a man with at least ten years on Nate and a balding head. “You’re lucky your friend here brought you in when he did. You have a very serious condition.”

“Yeah, I know.” Eliot said. “So give me something for the pain and I’ll get out of your way.”

“I don’t think you understand, Son. You’re not going anywhere. I have you scheduled for surgery in just a few hours.”

“No.” Eliot pulled the blanket off him and pushed himself up to sitting, despite the pain it caused.

“Eliot--”

“Nate, I said no. Gimme my clothes.”

“Son, that tumor in your stomach needs to come out. You need to start chemo.”

Eliot closed his eyes and forced himself to standing. “Gimme my clothes or I’ll walk out of here like this.”

“You won’t make the elevator,” the doctor said, moving to stand between him and the door.

“I ain’t letting you cut me open.” Eliot looked to Nate, though there would be no help coming from him.

“Please Eliot. Let the man help you.” Nate came closer and put a hand on his shoulder, pressing him back to the bed.

He wanted to argue, to tell him he was fine, but he was pretty sure the doctor was right, he wouldn’t even make it to the elevator. His head buzzed with the effects of the drugs and before he could find more words to say, he was laying down, and sleep was stealing up on him.

 

 

“No, I’m not leaving. Not until he comes out of surgery.” Nate said, glancing back at Eliot who was sleeping behind him. “Just, don’t say anything to Parker or Hardison just yet. He’d be pissed.”

Sophie assured him she’d keep Eliot’s secret, but he could hear the concern in her voice when she asked him how he was holding up.

Nate let out a shaky breath. “I’d be better with some whiskey,” he responded honestly, rubbing a hand over his face.

They would be coming soon to prep Eliot, who hadn’t actually consented to the surgery as much as he fell asleep before he could continue arguing. Nate had gotten a pretty good look at the size of the mass in the man’s stomach, or at least the part that was poking out of his emaciated body.

Eliot had been hiding this a whole lot longer than Nate knew. The doctor said he stood a fighting chance though, once the mass was removed and either radiation or chemotherapy was begun. “I’ll call when it’s over.” Nate promised before he closed the phone.

He slipped the phone in his pocket and paced from the corner of the room, around the end of the bed to the door and into the hall, then back again. They’d tried to make him leave earlier, but Nate pointed out that if someone wasn’t in the room the next time Eliot woke, he’d try to leave...and they’d left him alone after that.

He knew it wouldn’t take Hardison and Parker long to figure out something wasn’t right. A simple concussion wouldn’t have kept them away this long. He tried sitting, but bounced back up almost immediately. It was too familiar...too close...too much.

“I ain’t your boy.” Eliot said suddenly as Nate made another pass. “And would you sit down? I can’t even see you and you’re making me dizzy.”

Nate pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat, though his knee bounced. Eliot squinted at him, his eyes dark. They were quiet for a long time, then Eliot licked his lips. “I was eight. My grandpa...he...I didn’t really understand it at the time, but I watched him go from this strong man who was my hero to this frail old man who couldn’t get out of bed on his own. They took the tumor out of his stomach, but found another one in his liver. They cut that one out and started him on radiation. Then chemo. He spent the last year of his life so sick he couldn’t do anything. He died in a hospital a thousand miles away from the land that he loved.”

Eliot cleared his throat, then coughed, gasping for air when he was done coughing. Nate reached a hand for him, but Eliot pulled away.

“I don’t want to die in some hospital bed, Nate.” Eliot said into the silence.

“I don’t want you to die.” Nate countered.

Eliot rolled onto his side facing Nate. “Not gonna stop that now.”

Nate shook his head. “The doctor said you had a good chance--”

Eliot’s hand closed over his. “Nate, you and I both know that ain’t true. I got a week, maybe two at the outside before my strength is too far gone to get shit done. I don’t want to spend it in a bed.”

Nate sat back, leveling his gaze at Eliot and weighing what to say. “I’ll tell you what, if you can get up out of that bed right now and walk under your own power to the elevator, I’ll let you walk away. Even though I think you’re being a stubborn, selfish prick.”

Eliot sort of smiled, but didn’t move to get up. “Sounds like a challenge.”

“I’ll just sit here. And wait.”

“Yeah, you do that.” Eliot said, though his eyes were closing and his voice faded.

“Yeah, I will.” Nate said softly, sighing.

 

 

Ultimately, having the tumor removed gave him some of his mobility back, bought him a little time...so Eliot consented. The relief on Nate’s face was evident.

They kept him under for a while. And when he first woke up he was in no shape to leave. So he rested. He let Nate think he’d won.

And then he woke up in less pain, able to move and breathe at the same time. It was dark outside the small window. Nate was asleep in the chair beside the bed.

Eliot eased himself up to his feet, steadying himself on the bed, his eyes on Nate to make sure he didn’t wake. He turned off the monitor beside the bed so it wouldn’t alarm when he removed the IV, then slipped the IV from his arm. He paused a moment, then snapped the plastic bracelet off too, leaving it on the empty space he’d left on the bed.

His clothes were probably in the closet. Unless Nate hid them so he couldn’t leave. Eliot shuffled slowly to the small cupboard and opened it. To his relief, his clothes were there. He didn’t stick around to get dressed though. He grabbed the clothes and made for the door, ducking into the first unused room to get dressed, leaving the hospital gown on the bed.

He had work to do.

 

 

Nate woke to an empty room and felt the cold seeping into him. Eliot wasn’t in the bed.

He stood, his eyes sweeping the room, though he knew in an instant that Eliot was gone. He took a step toward the bed and saw the plastic hospital bracelet. He snatched it as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Of course, Eliot wasn’t going to answer. After it dumped to voicemail, Nate dialed Sophie instead. “Tell me Eliot is there.”

“Here? Shouldn’t he be with you?”

Nate sighed. “I fell asleep. When I woke up his bed was empty.” He headed for the elevator. “Have Hardison start sweeping for Eliot’s aliases. I want to know if he pops up anywhere. I’m on my way back.”

If Eliot wanted to disappear, to hide, even from them, Nate knew he could. He flagged down a cab outside the ER and gave the driver the address. A part of him wanted to believe Eliot would be there. Or at his apartment...one of them.

He had the driver drop him near the alley, headed for the side door. Sophie was waiting for him with an envelope in her hands.

“It just came for you. We each got one. None of us opened them. We waited for you.”

Nate took it with a nod, his stomach sinking. He knew what it was. He followed her upstairs where Hardison and Parker waited, their faces filled with worry.

For a long time no one spoke. They all just stared at the envelope in Nate’s hand. Finally Nate cleared his throat. “Hardison?”

“Yeah...um…” He pressed a button on his laptop and the screens lit up. “I looked for Eliot’s aliases, like you said...and I found...all of them.” Dots lit up a map with flights to Dubai and London and San Francisco and Rio and trains to Toronto and Atlanta and Denver, each in a different name.

“Is Eliot...leaving?” Parker asked suddenly, anger tinting her voice.

“In a manner of speaking.” Nate said softly. “We won’t ever see him again.” He held up his envelope. “I assume these are his way of saying goodbye.”

“He lied.” Parker said, holding her envelope.

“No, Parker.” Nate said wearily. “He just didn’t tell us the truth. This has been coming for a while. He’s been sick a long time.”

“Eliot doesn’t get sick.” Hardison protested softly.

“I know.” Nate sighed and looked at his envelope. After a quiet moment, he opened it and unfolded the paper. Eliot’s scrawling handwriting covered the page.

>   
>  Nate,
> 
> I ain’t never been good at goodbyes, and it was easy to see my suffering was too hard for you, so I hope you ain’t too angry if I just go before I make it any harder. Don’t try to look for me. You won’t find me.
> 
> You once told me that we weren’t friends, and I guess that was true. I don’t think we ever were friends exactly, but somewhere along the way we became family, and that ain’t something I’ve had in a very long time. I should thank you for that. Maybe someday I will.
> 
> I handled most of my physical assets already, but if you would see to it that the cashier’s check I included gets delivered to my old man, I’d appreciate it. He doesn’t need to know who it came from or why.
> 
> I did my best, Nate. But I was never meant to die in some hospital bed. No, sir. My last breath will come righting a wrong that has stood for far too long. I’m sorry if that isn’t good enough. It’s all I’ve got left in me.
> 
> Eliot  
> 

 

 

Almost a month passed before a trunk arrived for Parker. Inside it was nearly two million dollars, and a stuffed bunny.

A week later, a shipping crate was delivered with Hardison’s name on the label. It was filled with every Star Wars and Star Trek toy or model ever made. All in mint condition, in their original boxes.

Sophie’s theater received boxes every day for nearly a month, filled with props and costumes from big name theaters all over the world.

It was two months to the day after Eliot walked away that Nate’s phone rang and it was Eliot’s number. He answered it slowly.

The voice on the other end wasn’t Eliot. “He asked me to call.”

Nate had to clear his throat to find his voice. “Is it over?”

“Yes. Do you want the remains?”

It seemed such an odd question...and the thought of seeing Eliot like that was honestly terrifying. But the thought of his body just going in a nameless grave somewhere was worse. “Yes.”

“I will have him delivered to you.”

Just like that the voice was gone.

Two days later Nate stood beside Sophie, Hardison and Parker as a coffin was unloaded from a small plane with a two man honor guard in uniforms Nate wasn’t sure he recognized. He was handed a clipboard and he scrawled an illegible signature across the bottom, not acknowledging the blur in his eyes as he handed it back.

He never asked where Hardison got the hearse.

They were going to cremate him, though they hadn’t decided what to do with the ashes.

Some part of him though...he stood with the coffin as they waited to hand him over for the fire, his hand stroking over the wood. Some part of him couldn’t believe that Eliot could be reduced to...this...to some lifeless body in a coffin.

Eliot was always larger than life. He could fill up a room and never say a word. And he could disappear in the space of a heartbeat.

And then, some part of him wondered if maybe it wasn’t Eliot at all inside that box. If maybe Eliot was out there somewhere...and this was just his way of closing this portion of his life and starting over.

Sophie’s hand slipped into his, warm and comforting. Her face was wet with tears and as she reached up to wipe his face, he realized that so was his. The technicians came to take the coffin and Nate stared after it for a long time before he drew a deep breath. “Let’s go home.”

He led the team quietly into the restaurant and up to the counter, pausing when he heard a half familiar voice. He turned slowly.

Quinn stood there, hands out to his side, a bottle that looked like very old Scotch in one of them. “Don’t mean to intrude. Came to offer my respects.” He handed the bottle across to Nate. “And, because Spencer paid me a very large sum of money to agree to work for you for the next year.” He pulled a letter from his pocket. “He said you wouldn’t believe me.”

Nate took both the bottle and the letter, setting the bottle aside to glance over the letter before handing it to Sophie. He nodded and held out a hand. “You follow my rules.”

Quinn nodded. “I promised him I would.”

“Welcome to Leverage, Inc.” They shook, with Hardison gaping at them, and Parker giving Quinn the once over.

Nate reached behind the counter for glasses, lining up six and pouring from the bottle. He handed out five of the glasses, and left the last sitting on the counter. “To Eliot...may he get the rest now that he never could before.”

“To Eliot.”

They were silent for a moment before Nate drew in a deep breath. “Mr. Quinn, make sure Hardison has your contact info. We’ll be in touch very soon.”

> I know it ain’t the best gift to give a man to say goodbye, another hard case hitter with a bad attitude...but you changed me when I didn’t want to be changed. Quinn has a kid on the way, a woman he’s eyeing on marrying...he wants something more.
> 
> I couldn’t leave without making sure you had someone to watch your back. Sometimes bad guys make the best good guys, you said it. You made it true.
> 
> I ain’t saying you should trust him anymore than you did any of us at the beginning...and you two certainly ain’t friends.
> 
> But who knows where it will lead? It’s the best I got. I’ve always given you my best.
> 
> I’m sorry it couldn’t be more.
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> Goodbye.
> 
> Eliot 

Nate poured himself another glass as the others moved away. He could almost feel Eliot in the room with him.

Always was larger than life.

“Selfish bastard,” he said to the glass on the counter. “I’m going to miss you.”


End file.
